Slow Writing Challenge – Niall

Cautiously I avoided the lurking horrors. My heart pounded as fast as a drum. Was I alone? the never ending cycle that tormented me. My palms sweating my hairs on end. Before I knew what happened I felt a blistering pain in my right leg, it felt like a thousand daggers! A few minutes later I saw a mysterious shadow, my sight fading away, then a hazy face appeared, I felt as helpless as a kitten.

4 thoughts on “Slow Writing Challenge – Niall

  1. Your first three sentences are fantastic Niall. I love the way you used a rhetorical question to draw the reader in. You have described your pain brilliantly too.

    Do you think ‘helpless as a kitten’ is a strong simile? How could we improve it?

  2. Hi Niall
    I loved that story and you made me feel I wanted to read more at the end!
    You made a great and awsome cliffhanger. I suggest you do more!
    (my favourite celebrity is called Niall)

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