100 WC

I woke up out of my deep slumber, it was a typical day, rain was pouring down.  My mum dragged me out of bed, I slowly dressed myself. Mum called me for breakfast which I devoured, jumped into the car and arrived at school. Lessons went on for ever, finally school was over, see what had been on my mind all day was that we were waiting on the keys for our new house, I could burst I was so excited.  Mum met me, big smile on her face, we had got them, it was a new start for us all.

10 thoughts on “100 WC

  1. Hi Niall. I like your piece. I can almost FEEL your emotions myself, especially when you use phrase likes : “dragged me out of bed” (lethargic) , ” breakfast which I devoured” (very hungry – or maybe in a rush) , ” Lessons went on for ever” , (bored & impatient – surely NOT!!) “I could burst I was so excited” (err . . .excited!). All excellent descriptive phrases that help me connect with your writing.

    My ONLY frustration is that I’m left wanting to know about your new house (but that would require more than 100 words)

  2. I love the way you built up the excitement and left the reader wondering what was going to happen. I have just moved to a new house myself so know what it fels like to get those keys at last! Really good writing and excellent use of words.

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