100 wc -Annabel M

Why?

Help! That was all I could say . Nobody took any notice of me why?It was like I was invisible!Life was draining out of me like water drains out of a bath;all I could smell was freshly dug earth . In seconds I will lose my life ,my hope my dreams,and everything that came with it . Suddenly the pain in my arm spread and the next thing I know is I wake up in paradise.With my life and dreams gone my attacker had made my 9 years of life torture . I will never forgive Uncle Archie he attacked and killed me . He’ll pay .

 

6 thoughts on “100 wc -Annabel M

  1. Golly Annabel, this is a really powerful piece of writing. You have an excellent imagination. I was really drawn in. Are you a fan of horror or crime stories?

    Next time you write, make sure that you check that you stick to the same tense – perhaps read your story aloud, to yourself is fine!

    Well done, keep up the great writing,

    Mrs Radd (Team 100WC)

  2. A very dramatic 100wc Annabel! I’m intrigued to find out where you got the inspiration. Your use of emotion really pulls the reader in – keep this up.

    I’m pleased to see you using more advanced punctuation here, as well as varying the length of your sentences. As Mrs Radd says, some of the tenses do change – be careful!

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