100wc

I road my bike to a dirt track one day and I went up a ramp but i got so much air got frightened, and let go of my bike I hit the ground and the bike came back and hit me.Suddenly theres pain in my arm.someone called an ambulence.I was in hospital and I diddent remember enything.I asked the docter what happend he explain it all.I was shocked.I was aloud home in a week.One week later I road my bike to the dirt track again.I faced my biggest fear and did it but I failed.The end

4 thoughts on “100wc

  1. You have worked hard to improve your punctuation here Dylan, well done. Your story also gives an important message about facing fears!

    The first sentence is VERY long – perhaps next time you could keep it short and snappy – straight into the action.

  2. Hi Dylan, you have used some super ideas. You have described a realistic situation and how to deal with a problem. I agree with Mr Connor that your first sentence is rather long. However, you have used capital letters at the beginning of sentences and full stops at the end, so well done.

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