100wc- Lucy G

The forest was dark and the mist was thick. One gloomy day, Isabel Freeman was wanting to discover her destiny. She had been told that if she walked into the heart of the forest on the 30th of May, something magical would happen to her. So She was trembling as she tiptoed to the heart. Owls were hooting, trees were swaying in the blustering wind.

Finally, she arrived. Her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking. Teeth chattering, head aching. Clouds meandered closer and closer to Isabel. Suddenly, bright sparkles shimmered all around her as the sun came out. 

4 thoughts on “100wc- Lucy G

  1. Hi Lucy,
    You did a great job into creating the story. I loved your vocabulary. Whenever I write my stories, I add lots of vocabulary, but you put in some words which I RARELY use in mine. When I read your story, you gave me a lot of words to use in my story. I am sure you will be a great author someday.
    Come visit our blog and comment if you like it. The address is:
    http://www.room1hns@blogspot.com

    Renitta
    Henderson North School

  2. Hi Lucy,
    I really love your story ! 🙂 I was just wondering what happened to girl? I really love your use of words, I really loved the word “shimmered” I just love that word ! I can maybe use MORE good words in my work 🙂
    Great Effort ! Love it 🙂

    Come visit our blog at:
    http://room1hns.blogspot.co.nz/

    By Sara

  3. I agree with Renitta and Sara – your use of vocabulary is lovely here. I really like the way you have described the clouds as meandering, for example. This 100wc is building up to what could be a wonderful story. You have also varied the length of your sentence to quicken the pace – well done.

    Two small things to look for next time:
    1) please don’t begin sentences with so (or any other conjunction such as but, and, because)
    2) you could have used a semi-colon in a couple of places – can you see where?

    Well done Lucy – this is a great entry.

  4. Well done, Lucy.
    This is a mysterious and very descriptive piece of writing. I was left wondering who had advised her to venture into the forest on that day and what she would find there.
    Keep up the good work!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *