Rene is our most recent winner of the Writer of the Week award. All of the children were invited to write a story based on the Birthday Boy animation which was found via The Literacy Shed.
As you can see below, Rene’s use of language is simply brilliant. She even had Mrs Churchill welling up with the emotion she conjured! See what you think. You can also watch the video below.
Birthday Boy by Rene
Crisp winds lash my face, the distant sun, partially visible through the sauntering clouds. I roughly tuck my fraying scarf under my thick winter coat, as a burst of wind whips spitefully at my back. I can hear the gunshots at night ; each bullet like a jet black diamond dancing in the sky, it’s glossy coat shimmering in the silver moonlight.
I like to watch the fighting. Thought it should scare me it doesn’t; it makes me proud to think that my father’s out there and that he’s thinking of me.I see the grey glint of dawn rise from the horizen.
I dawdle onward, thinking of how proud I’ll be when father comes home, thinking how he will hold me above his head and ask “Have you been looking after the family?” and how I’ll nod shyly. Thinking this made me happy, though I had never stopped to think that maybe I think like this to cover up some deeper feeling of grief or fear. Maybe I think like this to deny the truth.I think about that for a moment, before dawdling on ward’s less confidently.
I stop abruptly. In front of me lay rusting train tracks, the steel bar spread looslely in place.
I sat up for a moment as the sound slowly crescendoed into an earth-quaking, violent, rumbling sound. I stared into the distance and out of the horizon a navy green train came hurtling towards me, its high pitched whistle ringing wildly. As silver smoke spun excitedly out of its top, an ominous melody called and mesmerised me.
All I saw were two red eye.I felt as though I were staring into the eye of pure evil. Peering at from the omious sky. I was sure that it was the end,but no it was much worse. That was the day my life changed forever. Those eyes changed my life forever. I will never forget those eye. The way they stared into mine. I never should have trusted him, I was young and oblivious. “No its true” I pleaded they did not belive me.They thought it was me, they thought I was crazy. Now I just have a dehumanizing scar.
During the half term my sister and I have been skiing. This is one of my favourite sports,the thrill of rushing down mountain sides, whizzing around bends. The reason for my enjoyment for the sport must be from my parents, who are both skilled skiers. Though in derby it is difficuit to find real mountains to ski down, we still enjoy skiing at Snow Dome where they have real snow espeialy made for skiers, snowboarders and other winter sports.